Thoughts
by mari.92.11.3
Summary: Ten thoughts--memories, reflections, regrets-- from each of the characters. I see a lot of these for Harry Potter, so I thought I might do one for AtU.
1. Lucy

Lucy

1. When she was little, she thought—she _knew—_she would grow up to be the ideal woman—leader of her society, mother of several children, devoted wife and homemaker. She thought she would stay where she was born, never thought she'd go anywhere for too long. And when she grew up and married Jude, and they were living in New York as Hippies, she thought of herself as a little girl and could only laugh.

2. When Daniel died, her heart split. It was as though someone had stuck a knife through the crack that had developed when he had gone off and only widened it. And she was miserable. He was the first boy she'd ever known, the first one who'd asked her out and she hadn't minded accepting—and she really had liked him. But when he died, she realized it was just that. She liked him, and she'd had a crush on him the entire time she'd known him, and she was sad when he died—but she wasn't heart-broken. She knew she could get over it. It was _how _he'd died, _where _he'd died that really bothered her. Daniel was a good man; he should have passed away at an old age in his bed with his family near by. And yet, he'd been shot, in Vietnam, involved in a war that had absolutely nothing to with him. _That _got her angry.

3. It wasn't just the draft letter that freaked her out before she came to New York. It was the thought of all those _people. _And Max was such a people person—what would he do? Would he think of her in the same way as he'd thought of her before? Or would he pity her because she'd lost her boyfriend and keep her wherever he was living… but she shouldn't have been worried about that. Max was Max, for goodness' sake. He took her out to Sadie's gig the first night she was there, and he introduced her to Jude… He introduced her to him, and for that, she would always be indebted to her brother.

4. The League of Spiritual Deliverance… They were so young, and so innocent, and totally in love and infatuated. She couldn't stop hugging Jude, and he couldn't stop hugging her, and it was like they were permanently attached to each other, and Max was laughing at them, and Sadie and Jo-Jo were singing to themselves, and Doctor Robert had given them this drink that was sweet and so nice… she doesn't remember how they ended up on the roof of the bus, looking over the rail and laughing and hugging and singing. Well, it wasn't really singing, she supposed later, when they were mostly in their right minds. But then they went and saw Mr. Kite's circus, and she couldn't help but feel a little crazy… they all did.

5. When Max left for Vietnam, a little part of her shattered. Because her big brother was going away for God knew how long, and maybe he wouldn't come back… and who would protect her? Who would she protect? She truly, sincerely loved Max, her brother, her friend.

But she loved Jude too, in a different, more passionate sort of way, but just as much as she loved Max. And she was confused…so confused… when he couldn't understand that. So she ignored it, the fact that he was apolitical, that he really couldn't help her with this one the way she wanted him to. And then, when she realized that she couldn't ignore it anymore, she hated herself. She couldn't hate Jude—never Jude—but she could hate herself. So she threw herself into her work some more, and when he came into their office… Why did he make her do this? Why did she have to choose between her brother and her lover? She hated that, too. And she couldn't see a way out—she was just making them both herself and Jude miserable, wasn't she? So maybe if she left him, he would just move on, and Max would come home.

She was numb when she packed and headed off to her friend's place for the night.

6. But it was when she was locked in that phone booth that she realized how much she loved Jude. And for the first time—the very first time—her heart broke.

7. It sewed right back up again when she saw him on the rooftop, singing to her—she _needed _love, she _needed _Jude. And when they were on the street again and locked in a permanent embrace, she was happy for the first time in months. It all came to her, how much she loved him, how much it all meant to her, and—and—

She was glad.

8. Their wedding was pretty small, and extremely impromptu. Her immediate family had managed to make it, and her mother had brought over an orange dress that she'd once worn to a wedding. Jude was in the same garb he'd worn that first thanksgiving, and Max was his best man, while Prudence and Sadie were her maids of honor. There was no isle, only Sadie's living room floor, and their preacher was Jo-Jo, who skipped a considerable amount of text. She was impressed—Max kept pretty still until Jude was told to kiss the bride. He gave them a total of five seconds before he told his best friend to get off his sister already. And she never regretted the size or importance of her wedding—it suited their style, and it didn't matter, as long as she was with Jude in the end.

9. They had to settle down eventually, she supposed. They moved out of Sadie's, got their own apartment only two blocks away, and Jude got work designing Sadie's album covers. Lucy herself gone to college for two years before her marriage, and she pulled herself together afterwards and finished it—and there was always work for a music major at Strawberry Jamz. So they got on alright, and never gave her parents any cause to complain about their lifestyle.

10. She had three children because she thought the number would be nice—sure, it was narcissistic, but they were the most adorable kids, and she loved them just as any mother would anyways. And she'd liked growing up in a big family, and Jude loved his children, so she wasn't too nervous when she told him she may be having a fourth. He grinned and teasingly told her she'd grown far too confident in the last few years. And she told him he'd made her that way—not that she'd started out particularly low on self-esteem. He laughed and kissed her.

So she supposed, after all these years, after all the trouble they all went through… she was happy.


	2. Jude

Jude

1. He liked Molly. She was fiery, pretty, and a complete romantic. The first few weeks they were together, he thought she was the neatest girl he'd ever gone out with; everything about her enchanted him—from her hair, to her eyes, to her clothes, to her voice… But then after a while, it seemed as though her hair was ridiculous, her eyes were empty, her clothes too revealing, her voice whiny and annoying… it was around that same time that he realized he needed a break—a break from the yards, a break from Molly, a break from Liverpool.

2. He asked his mother if she wanted to come with him, when he first thought of the idea; and of course, she refused adamantly. She didn't tell him not to go—she only said that she wouldn't go with him. And that's when he remembered those old pictures in the drawer, the ones his mother took out once every few years and said she ought to get rid of one day… and that's when it dawned on him that she was afraid to go to America because his father was there. And that's when he wanted to find the man.

3. He was bitterly disappointed by his father. He was barely nineteen, so he'd allowed himself to dream. Dream that his father was a smart man, a brave man, that he'd taken him in as soon as he found out who he was. The back of his mind tried to suppress that sort of daydreaming, but he couldn't help it. He wanted to believe those dreams so badly—and he was slightly crushed when he found out they were only fantasy.

4. And then Max waltzed into him and showed him the bar and brought him home for thanksgiving, because he had nowhere else to go, and _introduced him to Lucy. _He would never, _ever _forget that, because it was only a few hours afterwards that he realized how much he liked her. Unfortunately, it was only a few hours afterwards that he was on his way to New York with Max yet again, but still, he hadn't lost hope. She had to come visit her brother eventually, right?

5. Then she did come, with that cursed letter, and the tears in her eyes. And then suddenly they were by the docks, and she was telling him everything—about the draft letter, about Daniel, about… everything. And he wanted to cheer her up so badly, because even though her words were sad, she wasn't whining—she was being honest and totally open with him. And her eyes… they were so bright, and so blue, he just had to get them on something. And when the policeman yelled at him for 'defacing city property' and they laughed it off and ran away, he felt it was the beginning of something beautiful.

6. Doctor Robert's party made him realize how much he was in love with her. Because even after he woke up from the haze that sweet stuff had put him in, even after Mr. Kite's performance, he still loved her. He still felt he would never want to leave her, and he still needed her.

7. He wanted Max to come home every bit as much as Lucy did, only he didn't show it. She said he didn't understand what she was going through, how this war was ruining everything. But he did. His best friend was overseas and he was losing Lucy, who was practically his life—wasn't that enough to make him understand? He did, he comprehended it perfectly. But he understood, as well, that flowers and pretty speeches and rallies weren't going to bring Max home. That even if Lucy _did _lie in front of a tank, it wouldn't do anything. And that Paco fellow… It angered him to no end that he would _encourage _her, _dare_ to look at her that way when he knew she was with him. It disgusted him, and when the man actually stepped into their apartment and said those stupid words, his emotions came to a boil.

8. He was crushed all over again when Lucy didn't show up at their rooftop concert. _Don't let me down! _He wanted to tell her, over and over again, please, please, _don't let me down. _And then those policemen came, and he started singing… and there she was, right across the building from him, and yet across the universe. She was sobbing when they made it down into each other's arms, and he was on the brink of it—but they made it. And to this day, they can never forget the moment they realized that all they needed was their love.

9. He never thought he would be on to marry, but after their ordeal, he couldn't bare to be separated from her any longer, and she felt the same. So Jo-Jo (of all people) married them, and they got all their papers signed and everything—and he's glad every day that they did that, because how could he ever live without Lucy?

10. He was determined not to be a disappointment to his children, as his own father had been to him—he loved them and Lucy far too much for that. He was always there for them, no matter what, and he thinks that they love him too. Sure, he never thought he'd have _four _children—but each and every one of them was unique, and he was never tired. Which really just proved the point all the more… all you need is love.

_Very Lucy-centric, but it seemed to fit, so I kept it. Please review!_

_Mari_


	3. Max

Max

1. He always thought it was a little mean, the way his parents always criticized _him_—never Lucy, or Lizzy, or Julia—always just _him. _When he was a little boy, he didn't like Lucy too much for that reason. But the kid grew on him, and eventually she became his best friend. And then they grew up a little more, and she became more his sister than his best friend—he never stopped confiding in her, but he knew their time was past.

2. He _hated _Princeton. The minute he set foot on prestigious Ivy League campus, he knew it would never mean anything to him, that it was the most pompous, ridiculous place he could ever have landed himself in. How _did _he land himself in it, anyways? Ah. He'd loved education before… then it had been beaten out of him by constant lectures and 'collegiate crap' (he still liked the alliteration in that). And the fact that his parents didn't understand that just made him hate it all the more. What was there for him there anyways?

3. He will never admit that he was slightly afraid of going home that Thanksgiving he decided to drop college. His mother would get over it pretty quickly, but his father would put up a fight. Men in his family were supposed to be smart, intellectual fellows—lawyers, doctors, all that—certainly not cabdrivers in New York.  
But that's why he brought Jude with him—maybe if there was some sort of non-related guest at the dinner table there wouldn't be quite the uproar there would normally have been… but he should have known better (he also should have known that Jude wouldn't care).

4. He was also a little disturbed when Jude and Lucy were giving each other those looks in the bowling ally. No, he's an honest man—he was _really _freaked out. Daniel was the stereotypical white American teenage male. So he really wasn't worried when _he _hooked up with her—_Jude _on the other hand was an artist with a girlfriend in Liverpool. He knew what kind of place that was. So he brought him away to New York in hopes he'd forget about her for a while… Then after a few weeks, he and Jude were best friends, brothers, and he was wondering how he could _ever _have thought he wasn't good enough for his sister. (He was only teasing when he walked in on them in bed—it just sounded harsher than he meant because of his appointment that day.)

5. When he realized he was going to be shipped off to Vietnam—that it was for real, not just a game or joke—he nearly puked. He was barely twenty… he really didn't want to die. He had so much in front of him. Still, he never really believed he could die till he saw it happening the first time he was fighting. So he was determined he would have the time of his life before he was sent to war… Doctor Robert, the League of Spiritual Deliverance; all just part of the game. He should have known better.

6. Vietnam was like a nightmare playing over an over and over again, a nightmare that wouldn't stop, that he couldn't wake up from, that he would _never _wake up from—it was… he can hardly describe it to this day. There were men dying everywhere, and gunshots, and blood, so much blood. There were those rare letters from Jude and Lucy that got him through at his worst, and his comrades when they were all in one piece… but then they always died, so it didn't make much difference after a while. And then there he was too, on the ground, and there was blood coming from his leg… was it his blood, or some fallen soldier he had tripped over? No, it was his blood, he could feel the pain now…he thought for sure he was going to die, right there and then on the ground in Vietnam—he would never see Lucy and Jude again, or one of Sadie's gigs, Prudence's smile—she had such a nice smile when she wasn't sulking, he thought with a hazy grin—or hear Jo-Jo's guitar, or see Julia and Lizzy, or his mother… he wouldn't have minded seeing his father, even.

He passed out at that point.

7. The next thing he knew, he was in a hospital at home, and there was Lucy, completely panicked with tears in her eyes, and his mother. And all he could feel then was relief, at everything—he was alive, Lucy was alive, Jude was…where was Jude?

8. Deported. In _England. _He would barely speak to Lucy for a while—she obviously still loved Jude, so why was she still here, and why had she let him go anyways? He could hardly look at her for a while. But then eventually he realized how much she needed him, and how much he needed her, and how much they both needed Jude back.

9. He wasn't too shocked when Lucy and Jude told him they were getting married. Actually, he'd been thinking they would do it eventually, and he'd also started considering his own future for once. If Lucy was getting married, his parents would be on his case for a long time until he did. But then he met Valerie, and he didn't care who was on his case or for what—he was just glad to have seen the girl at all. So they were married pretty quickly after that too.

10. He didn't think either Lucy or Jude would put up with _four _kids—and he and Valerie were determined that they would not get their patience tested like that. But somehow they ended up with five—and he kept his patience. He eventually got a better job at Sadie's record company, but he didn't hate his taxi-driving career too much. He had defied the odds and broken social lines with that one (at least, that's how he chose to think of it).

_Reviews make me smile!_

_Mari_


	4. Sadie

Sadie

Sadie

1. When she thinks about it, it's as though she was never really a kid. But then again, she was never really an adult either. So she's been stuck somewhere in between for all of her life—apparently, that's fine with Jo-Jo, Max, Jude, Lucy, and Prudence, so she after a while supposed that being ageless, as they put it, was fine.

2. Max was hilarious. She never would admit it to him, but he was one of the funniest guys she'd ever met—and for that she was glad, because when he and Jude came along, she was hitting a low in her career—one of them made her pull herself together and find a new guitarist. And Jo-Jo is the best thing that ever happened to her, even if they argued occasionally. It was, after all, only occasionally…

3. She thought Prudence was the cutest little girl when they first met, and all these motherly feelings developed for her, because she was young, and abused…reminded her a little of herself actually… And it never occurred to her that Prudence might feel anything more for her than daughterly affection, because _she _certainly couldn't. That's why she was a little surprised when Lucy told her what was going on and why Prudence had left. And for a few weeks, it tormented her how she could have hurt her poor little girl like that.

4. Her mother always told her not to cry, because it was shameful where she came from, to cry in front of people—you keep your pains to yourself, and only yourself. And if you can't do that, just don't get into trouble to begin with. Her father didn't really care—after a while, he stopped caring altogether, but by then she'd stopped caring too. So the only things she really learned from her parents were: don't cry, and don't care when someone hurts you, and just don't get hurt at all. But it was so painful when she had that argument with Jo-Jo, and there was a pain in her chest that wouldn't go away for the short time she was with Billy… And she realized with a bang that she _could _cry about Jo-Jo, that she _did _care about him, and that it hurt her, and probably him, too, when they'd dumped each other.

5. She ditched Billy after her first performance of 'Helter Skelter'. She really got sick of him after a while, the permanent sneer on his face, how she couldn't see anyone anymore because she 'had her career to think about', as though she were some sort of child! She wasn't a child. She'd established that. So she ran away, like some disturbed adolescent girl, and she went back to the apartment she'd started in, back to Lucy, Jude, Max, and Prudence. Back to Jo-Jo.

6. She knew from the beginning that Jo-Jo had a beautiful soul, when he played guitar the way he did, and he was polite to her from the start. And she really did like men with beautiful souls, because there weren't enough of them around. So she put him in her band, and those were the best days they ever had.  
When they sang on the rooftop, it only confirmed her beliefs, and from then on, they were joined at the hip, best friends as well as lovers.

7. She had fun at Mr. Kite's show—not because it was such an amazing performance (which it was) but because she saw Prudence again, and she was sure that the girl was happy, and the worry in the back of her mind faded at last, so she could finally relax.

8. It hurt her far too much to admit when Max was sent to 'Nam. Because she loved him, in that same motherly way she did Prudence, and she couldn't bare seeing her spunky, funny, laughing, lovable Max come back broken and in pain. And it hurt nearly as bad when Lucy wrote to tell her Jude had been deported, because although she didn't love him quite as much as Max, she had a huge soft spot for him—his sincerity always made her smile. And here he was, gone because some stupid law said that America, home of the Brave and land of the Free or whatever crap it was would fill up too fast if everyone had a chance to come. Maybe it was for that reason that they sent all their young men to war (yes, she understood Lucy's cause, but life had to go on).

9. She has to say, the funniest moment of her life was when she saw Jo-Jo acting as Minister at Jude and Lucy's wedding—Jo-Jo, who played guitar and smoked and danced the conga on Saturday nights with her—Jo-Jo, a minister! While she stood behind Lucy, Prudence beside her, she had to work really hard not to laugh—she suspects that maybe that was why Jo skipped so much text in the end.

10. Her life isn't helter skelter any more, as odd a phrase as it is. She's deliriously in love and happy, because finally, at last, the moment she's been waiting for—everything's come together.

_I know, I like updating this story far too much. All the same, reviews are always appreciated!_

_Mari_


	5. JoJo

Jo-Jo

1. He thought a lot bout whether to spell his name with a hyphen, if to change it at all—but then he met Sadie, and he was pretty sure he wasn't a 'Joseph' with her, and that anyone could spell their name without a hyphen, but it took guts and a true man to spell it with. So his name is 'Jo-Jo'.

2. His brother's death broke him a little. He had always been so sure that he and Will would be together for a long time, growing old and sharing memories together—but he was shot. And just like that, the kid was gone. _That _was painful—while Will had been physically shot, he had been wounded badly in the heart by the spirit of that same gun.

3. He didn't cry at his brother's funeral, but he cried shamelessly afterwards in the room they'd once shared.

4. He thought Jude was the smart one, in comparison to Max—even though the latter had been admitted into Princeton University, and had grown up with the best education, the boy was as reckless as a drunken raccoon. Jude however—Jude knew where his limits were, and his strengths and weaknesses, and he knew how to talk pleasantly to strangers without making fun of them. Not that he didn't like Max—on the contrary, he loved the kid—he just loved Jude more. It was the other way around with Sadie, so he doesn't feel all that badly about it.

5. Lucy's devotion to the cause touched him a little, but not enough to do anything about it. Because as much as he missed Max, he still thought the government was the government, and the army was the army—you just didn't mess with these things where he came from. Where he came from, you marched and went in and went out just as you were told—and if you died along the way, then good for you, but your comrades would still keep going. And he sort of got used to that, that blindingly straight path. The only time he ever wavered from it was when he took up the guitar, and fell in love with Sadie—and that was when he gave it up completely.

6. He didn't mind being a soldier too much. They were shipped to a few places and made to fight a few battles—but it wasn't that bad. Those battles weren't huge, and he liked seeing new countries. But after a while, he came to miss home, to miss Will and his mother—and that pain, that longing for his family—that was what made it such a miserable place. For him, and the rest of the troops.

7. When Sadie left, he broke all over again. But it wasn't just his spirit this time—it was his heart too. He'd thought she loved him, thought he loved her—and with her leaving, he realized how damned true that was. The fact that Jude was going through the same problem helped a little—they started depending on each other a little, and soon it was as though Will was with him again, reincarnated in that British kid who lived with them. So when Jude was deported, a little bit of him broke yet again, for the third time. But it wasn't too bad. By then, he'd gotten used to the pain—after all, his heart was already split in half by Sadie; Jude was just another crack in his spirit.

8. He was beyond happy when Sadie came back, and Jude shortly afterwards. And when they sang on that rooftop, he felt as though he were singing all his troubles away, all her troubles away… they were so blissfully happy then, he felt as though he could fly, and that he could carry her along with him. And when Lucy stood on the neighboring balcony, he felt a sort of completeness—there they were, the six of them, united once more.

9. He performed the wedding ceremony for Lucy and Jude because he was the only man who could do it who actually wanted them to marry. Max would have laughed and made nasty comments all the way through, Mr. Carrigan would have given Jude reproachful looks towards the end—so that left him, Joseph, Jo-Jo, whatever his preacher name was now. And he liked seeing a clean-shaven Max, and Jude in his vest with his hair finally combed, and Prudence smiling, and Lucy in that bright orange dress of hers, with flowers in her hair. And of course, there was Sadie, "Up before two and looking wicked cool."

10. He still thinks music is the only thing that makes sense anymore—but that's not too bad, because if the music _business _made sense, that would make some problems. And if his love for Sadie made sense, it wouldn't be love anymore, would it? And if the world made sense, where would be the logic in that?


	6. Prudence

Prudence

1. She hated her name. It didn't describe her at all, and for goodness sake, her parents were _Asian. _Why did they have to call her Prudence? Why not some nice, foreign, exotic kind of name that no one had heard to before? Instead, she got stuck being called reckless, incautious, freaky little Prudence.

2. She hated Ohio too—after that cheerleader broke her heart, she just couldn't stand being there anymore, so she packed her bags and just left… besides, that man she lived with was a jerk. He'd said he was her uncle, but her investigations had revealed otherwise—he was nothing more than a child abductor. And when she found those children in his basement and set them free, she knew she had to run.

3. New York was the place dreams were made of—Sadie's apartment was just a little piece of it. And she liked Jude for a while, but he was just so _proper_… she got bored with that pretty fast. And Max was too obscene.

4. She didn't hide in the closet because of her unrequited love (she was _not _hung up on Max. The thought was just disgusting). She hid because she felt lost and confused and everything in between. _Nothing _made sense anymore. She was living here for free, and she felt terrible about it, then when she tried to find work no one would hire her, and… _why _wouldn't anyone hire her? It was New York! In the 60's! It was an age of change, and she felt it—but while she tried to change with it, people were refusing to let her, holding her back. And by the end of the day, she was so _tired. _Tired of the fact that no one would hire her, that she was mooching off her friends, and that Max was going off to war. She liked him (as a friend) even if he was obscene. So she hid in a closet.  
Now that she thinks about it, she feels she was extremely stupid.

5. That peace march was… inspiring to say the least. That man, with his fiery words and strong voice… she wanted to be like that—powerful and confident. She wanted it so badly.

6. Mr. Kite's circus allowed her to do that. Rita allowed her to do that. And even when the both of them left for bigger, better things, she never regrets joining it.

7. She sighed of relief, and then jumped up in ecstasy when Jude came back. Because even if he was too proper, she like him a lot (as a friend, too), and she knew she would have cried if he was stuck in Liverpool permanently.

8. She's the only one who wasn't a member of the Carrigan family who cried during Lucy and Jude's wedding. She'll never understand how Sadie, Jo-Jo and Max could just laugh and smile—she wanted to laugh, smile, cry, scream, jump up in happiness, cheer… _So _many emotions raced through her head at the time. And even if Jo-Jo was a lousy preacher, and when Jude kissed his bride, Max told him loudly "Right kid, get off my sister now. Save it for later." And Sadie was cracking up at the sight of Jo-Jo and the Bible in one room… she was the only one who had her head bowed and was smiling and crying all at once. Because she loved Lucy and she loved Jude and she couldn't stand the fact that now they were all going to grow up and have kids and be that kind of people, but at the same time she was just so _happy _that they were finally getting married… then one of Lucy's sisters—Julia—patted her on the back and told her kindly that she was brave for trying not to cry, because she herself had burst into tears up ages ago. And she wasn't lying, because her eyes were red and her face as a little blotchy. And then Prudence gave up and started crying anyways, and then Lucy and Julia started crying, and then Lucy's other sister Lizzy, and then it was just a big mess, and they started laughing.

9. She was absolutely thrilled when Lucy not only named her first daughter "Eleanor Prudence", but was made godmother for that same little girl as well. She and Rita doted over the kid like old women—Max said it was disgusting, but he spoiled the girl rotten, so she didn't really pay attention to him.

10. She liked her life. She realized that after her episode in the closet, and from then on, her life was nothing but play.

_This isn't the last chapter, for those of you wondering--I'm doing as many characters as I can, and if anyone has any suggestions, that would be nice. Up next, probably Molly, then Mrs. Feeney, and the rest of the Carrigans. Reviews are what makes my world go round._

_Mari_


	7. Molly

Molly

1. She never got the chance to really know Jude before he took her out. And at the time, she didn't really mind, but it seemed obvious after a while that he seemed to regret that. He used to smile when he looked at her, and kiss her as though they had all the time in the world. But then those smiles turned into an indifferent face, and those kisses became more out of duty than desire, unless he was drunk. So while Jude denied that he needed a break from her, she knew in truth that he did, and in actuality, she needed a break from him too.

2. The first few days he was gone, he wrote to her a lot. She assumed it was because he was a little homesick, a little in need of some comfort—which she gladly provided when writing back—but his letters were impersonal and she wasn't all that surprised when they stopped.

3. She didn't like Phil too much the first time they met—he was nice looking, she supposed, but he wasn't the brightest of the lot—at least, not as bright as _Jude_—and Jude didn't like him. So she avoided him, thinking of him as Phil Sculley, the boy Jude and she hated. Then towards the end of their relationship, she realized that it was just Jude who didn't like him—she thought he was just fine. She began to warm up to him a little, and learned he was a lot brighter than she'd thought, and upon closer inspection, a lot better looking, too. And so much funnier than Jude, and braver, and stronger, too…

4. She never liked Mrs. Feeney. The woman stared at her oddly every time she came over, and she once overheard her asking Jude "Are you sure this is your girl, Jude?"

But what upset her the most about that conversation is that Jude didn't answer.

5. Phil took her out dancing the night that Jude left. And although she felt a little guilty at first, she relaxed pretty soon afterwards.

6. She doesn't remember how she ended up pregnant. One minute she was drinking something and the next she woke up in Phil's bed… she doesn't remember any pain, though, and shortly afterwards Phil asked her to marry him, so it really wasn't too much of a problem.

7. She hated being pregnant. People had always called her beautiful, pretty little Molly, belle of the ball… all that. And then suddenly her belly bloated, and her clothes didn't fit her anymore, and she had to wear regular women's dressed with the belt under her breasts… that was terrible. And Jude too, he had to come back still looking the same, and see her with that enormous thing on her. She couldn't help but be a little irritable, and hurt. And the worst part was when he told her her name, 'Lucy'. It was so perfect—'Jude and Lucy' sounded so much better than 'Jude and Molly'. She couldn't help but feel bitterly towards the both of them…But then he mentioned that it had ended, and he had such a pained expression. She could tell he still loved her, and she knew that if she ever met that Lucy, she would still love him too. And then her bitterness faded, and she bid him goodday.

8. When the baby was out, and her stomach deflated (surprisingly fast), and she was holding that adorable little creature in her arms… she was just so glad. That's how she got the nerve to have another one.

9. She was very surprised when Mrs. Feeney decided to go visit her son in America. To meet that Lucy he had once again gone after, and see her grandchildren. Because Mrs. Feeney was not the traveling type of woman. But she went, and she came back so radiantly happy, that Molly looked at her own son and knew she would probably have done the same.

10. When Jude came back again, this time with his wife and four children—_four children!_—she thought they were the most beautiful family, and that Lucy was really a very pretty girl. Which is why she talked to the woman, and made friends with her and let her two children play with her lot. It wasn't because she was jealous, or anything of the sort, because she loved her family truly and sincerely and wouldn't have given them up for anything. She was truly and sincerely happy—she realized that she would have picked Phil, Carlisle and Joan over Jude anytime.

_Won't you pleeeease, please review, Review?_

_Mari_


	8. Mrs Feeney

Mrs. Feeney

1. She'd been in Liverpool her entire life—from when she was a baby, born in the same house she'd given birth to Jude in, then a little girl, having her adventures with her friends and skipping stones by the docks, and playing on the streets—everyone did it at the time, and they still do. She dearly loved her childhood, and craved it when she grew up and was falling painfully in love.

2. She hates him. She loves him, and yet she hates him, because he left her and Jude all alone to fend for themselves. Because he'd told her everything she wanted to hear, and made the little things come true, and then disappeared. Her thoughts on this have not changed since she gave birth to her son.

3. She wasn't all that surprised when Jude went to find his father—she'd known he would want to do it eventually, to satisfy his curiosity. What surprised her though is the letter she received afterwards—she'll never forget: _Mum, staying in America till further notice. Write more later. Love, Jude._

4. She was bitterly disappointed in her son when he came back ad told her the story, in bits. She'd thought and prided herself on having raised him never to abandon, never to give up. The fact that he still loved that girl and wasn't going after her as he should drove her mad. She wouldn't speak to him for a while because of that, and then he confessed a little more, bit by bit… still, she had to admire this Lucy. She had her son, who'd been with at least ten different women in his last three years in Liverpool, standing on a knife's edge.

5. She's proud of him for going after her in the end. And when she visited them, when he was ready to marry her and start a family, she told him so. He blushed and said she was delusional, but she knew he was secretly preening inside. Twenty years with him; she knew her son.

6. She loved Eleanor. She was the most adorable child on earth. She looked like her mother, but with her son's coloring—_her _coloring, essentially—and she was just beautiful. She knows she showered the girl with too many knit sweaters and skirts and dresses—but she didn't care in the least. Eleanor could have the wardrobe of a queen, for all she cared—she would still deserve it.

7. Lucy was a good girl. She liked her a lot, and was happy with her son for making such a fine choice in a woman. But the girl was stubborn, and that worried her a little—till Eleanor was born into the world, and she became a mother. Because having to be the mother of Jude Feeney's child was certainly going to require stubbornness.

8. Living with him would too. She tried to warn Lucy, but the younger woman told her she knew. When she asked how, she blushed, which in turn made _her _blush, which really became far too awkward… until her son walked in, oblivious, of course, because he was male, and looking between the two women bewilderedly. Martha Feeney laughed outright and patted her new daughter's cheek.

9. She was positively frightened when she found out she had cancer. Then she realized—she was _sixty-four. _She'd lived this long—if she survived, all was well. If she didn't, her time had come. And she learned to accept it from there.

10. She's glad she got to see Rose before she died, with _both_ her parents and a huge family to boot. It relieved her, the slightest bit.


End file.
